Chapter One
Mirror, Mirror
For many people, losing weight is about being able to dress the way they want or simply liking the way their bodies look. For others, it's about coming out of hiding and showing themselves to the world. In this chapter, you'll hear from men and women who spent years struggling with poor body esteem or feeling uncomfortable in their own skin-and who then took action to change those feelings by changing their habits. As they talk about how their weight struggles affected the way they felt about themselves, you'll realize just how universal body-image issues are. You'll also be inspired to tackle your own feelings about how you look.
Size Matters Kristy, 37, California, bookkeeper
All through high school, I wasn't really heavy-I was a size 12 or 14, what I think of as a normal size because I'm tall. I'm 5 feet 8 inches. In terms of weight, I was in the middle, between people who are really small and those who are very big-and I was pretty much okay with that.
Then I got married in my early twenties and I started gaining weight, about 40 pounds. It wasn't like I got married and decided to relax my eating habits, though I did start eating doughnuts a lot. My husband began to work out of town and wasn't home much. So I ate out a lot-and too much fast food. I went up to a size 16, which wasn't normal for me.
We got divorced a year and a half after we were married. I was so upset, and the weight just came off. I was back to my usual size 12 or 14. I was so devastated about the divorce that I couldn't even be happy about the weight loss. But about six months later, after I had adjusted to being a divorced mom, I was happy to be a normal size again.
Then, in August 2004, my dad died. He had cancer so it wasn't that he died suddenly. We knew it was coming. He and I weren't very close, and I guess I didn't think it would affect me as much as it did. But I put on 30 pounds in the months after he died. Even with the excess weight, I think I was in denial about how I looked. I still had this image of myself from before-that I was still pretty normal.
Then I got a very rude awakening. Gayle, one of my best friends, got married in Vegas in February 2005. It was a second wedding for her, and it was just me standing up for her. When the pictures came back, Gayle wanted to show them to me right away. I took a look, and my face must have registered anything but happiness for her because she asked me what the matter was. To tell you the truth, I was taken by surprise. Yes, I was happy for her, but I couldn't believe how bad I looked in the pictures. I was dressed up nice, with a cute dress, and my hair was fixed, but I thought that it just didn't look like me. I looked so heavy!
Worse, I was standing next to one of the guys in the wedding party and I felt like I kind of eclipsed him because I was so big. And that's not normal; usually, the guy is bigger. I don't want to be bigger than guys. I'm already bigger than some because I am tall so I don't want to be heavier, too.
That's when I knew I had to get serious about losing weight. One of the other mothers at my son's school had lost weight by going to Weight Watchers. So at the end of February 2005, I joined and weighed in at 193 pounds. I knew I had a lot of work to do.
I lost 43 pounds over the next five months by taking a hard look at my eating habits. I started eating a sensible breakfast and going home from the office for lunch so I could fix a turkey or chicken sandwich on wheat bread and have some sugar-free strawberry Jell-O if my sweet tooth kicked up. I drank a ton of water, sometimes close to a gallon a day. I love to eat dinner out, but I stopped doing it as often. While trying to lose, I also began to exercise, mostly on the treadmill, and I discovered that I actually enjoy it.
At one point, I got down to 146 pounds, which was below my goal, but it was too much of a struggle to maintain. I felt as if I didn't get enough to eat when I tried to stay at that weight. I felt tired and hungry a lot of the time. And I just don't have that much willpower to be so good all the time.
Now, my weight ranges between 155 and 160-I am more comfortable there and it's still healthy. This now feels like a normal weight for me, and most of the time I feel pretty good about how I look. But sometimes I see thin girls who are wolfing down big burgers, and they look like they don't have a care in the world-and I have a little twinge of jealousy.
But I know that's not realistic or even normal for most people. And I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be a size 4. My ancestors are Samoan and German so I'm a big-boned girl. The good thing is, at my current weight, I know I'm a lot healthier than I used to be.
Even after losing weight, I still focus a lot on the size issue, though now it's often in a good way. Recently, I bought a pair of size-8 pants, which means I'm three sizes skinnier than what I used to consider normal for me. It feels great. I guess what's normal is all relative.
TAKE-AWAY: Start your day with a sensible breakfast Not only will eating a morning meal jump-start your energy for the day, but it can help you to avoid overeating at lunchtime and will keep your mood on a more even keel.
A Transforming Experience Kimberla Lawson Roby, 42, Illinois, New York Times best-selling novelist
I decided to lose weight in May 2005 because I had just turned forty and realized it was high time I started taking better care of myself. I was beginning to feel tired all the time, even after a full night's rest. And I was truly tired of all the yo-yo dieting I'd been doing for years, to no avail. Every time I would try to lose weight on one fad diet after another, I'd always end up gaining every pound back and then some. I was riding a very vicious and frustrating cycle. I finally decided enough was enough.
In addition, my weight was affecting my career. The extra pounds made me feel as though I didn't look or feel as good as I could have. Whenever I would head out on national book tours or travel to individual speaking engagements, I was always concerned about what clothing I would wear and how it probably wasn't going to fit properly or look as presentable as I wanted it to. Because my eating habits were terrible, I couldn't resist ordering room service at hotels late at night; then I'd go to sleep on a full stomach, feeling miserable. But the worst thing of all was the fact that I was always exhausted on every trip I took. I just didn't feel as energized as I should have.
After I joined Weight Watchers, I attended meetings every single week without fail, no matter what I had scheduled for Thursday afternoons. The meetings really helped me to keep up my motivation. I even attended one in New York while my husband and I were there, celebrating our fifteenth wedding anniversary.
While I was losing, my husband was one of my biggest cheerleaders. He supported my decision to join Weight Watchers from the very first moment I mentioned it. And my best friends Kelli and Lori encouraged me daily. It also helped that I made my weight-loss efforts my top priority this time, and I rewarded myself for losing. Whenever I went down a size, I went shopping and treated myself to a new pair of jeans that actually fit.
My biggest challenge was cutting back on sweets because I do love them so! I still love chocolate and pizza, but now I indulge in sensible moderation. While losing weight, I stopped overeating and ate only enough to feel satisfied. Today, I eat a wide variety of foods-I love baked fish, particularly salmon and walleye, partly because it tastes so good and partly because it's very healthy-but the difference is that I consume much, much smaller portions than I did during my pre-Weight Watchers days.
The other major change is that I began working out on a regular basis. Now I walk thirty to forty minutes per day, either on a treadmill or on a bike path, and I tone with weights two to three times per week. These days, I love my arms-they are more toned than ever before.
I realized I'd reached a turning point with my weight the day I learned that I'd lost my first 10 pounds. I was so excited to be having great success-and I wasn't feeling hungry or discontented. It was then that I knew I could go all the way. And I did: I've now lost 40 pounds in total on my own and through Weight Watchers.
The best thing about being thinner is that I feel so much more energized and a lot more limber. I feel better today than I did in my late twenties or early thirties. While slimming down, I learned that it really is possible to look and feel a lot younger than you actually are. Every day, I remind myself that this is a wonderfully healthy lifestyle change, one that has transformed my life physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
TAKE-AWAY: Avoid eating a big meal late at night Going to sleep with a full stomach can compromise the quality of your sleep and leave you feeling sluggish and uncomfortable the next morning.
My New Neck Sharon, 55, New Jersey, Weight Watchers training manager
I was a member of Weight Watchers for many years before I lost weight for good. I'd join and lose some weight and quit, then I would rejoin and lose again and quit, and so on. My gradual weight gain started in college, but I just ignored it, until it continued to get worse after I was married. I was on and off Weight Watchers for years before I finally made up my mind to really commit to it.
That was in 1979, and I rejoined because I knew I wanted to have a baby and I didn't want to gain weight on top of the extra weight I was already carrying. I made this a priority, and I decided I had to treat losing weight like a pregnancy, so I gave it nine months. I would not miss meetings because the minute I missed the meetings, I had a bad week. I'd think I was on a little break so I'd give in to whatever I'd been having a yen for and I'd end up overeating. Finally, I learned that coming to the meetings put a stop to the mess-ups. It took me ten months to lose 50 pounds, and I found out that I was pregnant the week I reached my goal. Shortly after that, I started working for Weight Watchers, and now I'm a training manager.
I'm very proud of the fact that I've maintained my weight loss for twenty-five years. I think a lot of people assume that once they've reached their goal weight they're cured and can go back to their regular lives. But I learned tricks to keep the weight off. For example, I used to have bad nails, but I started to polish them every evening to use that as a way not to eat at night. I like my new body, and it's the same idea-I want to continue to look good so I know I need to continue some of the healthy habits I've learned, like controlling portion sizes.
I felt so much better after I lost weight, but the part I never lost was my neck. I always had a double chin, and when I looked in the mirror, I still had the heavy face, the heavy neck. It was just kind of hanging there. I always said that if I ever had money, I would do something about it.
In 1997, a friend who had had cosmetic surgery offered to go with me for a consultation with a plastic surgeon. When computer imaging showed what I could look like, I said, "Oh my gosh ... that looks great!" But I have four kids, and when I heard the price I said, "There's no way." I just couldn't justify it.
About a year later I was left some money by my best friend, Janet, who died of breast cancer. Before she died, she said to me, "Now I don't want you to use this on the kids or the house. This is for you." I felt as if she had just shown me how short life was, so I decided to do it.
When I finally went for the surgery, it was just before my forty-seventh birthday. The surgeon suggested that I have my eyelids done, too. He lifted my lids, then he lifted my neck by cutting underneath and behind my ears and pulling up just the neck part. I felt a lot of discomfort the first two days after surgery, but I had thought it was going to be much more painful so I was pleasantly surprised.
Having the surgery has made me feel so much happier. I was always confident, but when I'd look at pictures of myself, I would feel disappointed because I would only see my sagging neck. I couldn't really focus on the rest of me. I feel so good when I look at pictures now.
Everybody asks me whether it was worth it. I really think it was. It made me feel really good about myself, and that was important at that stage in my life. After taking care of kids all my life, it was my turn.
TAKE-AWAY: Polish your nails in the evening If you do something with your hands-such as giving yourself a manicure or doing needlepoint or knitting-you'll make it impossible to snack after dinner; plus, you'll distract yourself from the desire to do so.
On Campus and Still Losing Caryn, 20, Pennsylvania, college student
I was overweight at a young age, but halfway through my freshman year of college, I hit my all-time high. At home, my mom cooked balanced meals, but at school, my options were mostly pizza, cheeseburgers, french fries, ice cream, chips, candy, anything deep-fried. My first semester, I ate anything I wanted and was having a lot of fun-until I took a step back and saw that I had gained 30 pounds in four months! It was just too much drinking and partying and living off the fatty foods at the campus dining halls. My weight hit almost 190 pounds. I am 5 feet 3 inches.
I wanted to wear hip clothes like my classmates, but low-rise jeans just don't look as great when your belly is hanging over the waistband. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin and was low on self-confidence. It got to the point where I would cry about how I looked, but because I have been overweight for most of my life, I just assumed that was who I was and nothing would change it.
One night, I was watching a marathon of The Biggest Loser on TV. Seeing those people who were way bigger than me change their lives and become the skinny person that I always wanted to be-well, it just hit me and I thought, "I can do that, too!" That's when I joined Weight Watchers. From that first meeting in February 2006, my battle with weight seemed so much easier. Hearing other people's stories and advice made me feel like everything I was going through was normal.
But I had a lot of challenges back at school. Eating at the dining halls, going out to dinner with friends who never had to diet, and living in a dorm room with no kitchen did not make losing easy. But I had to make it work. Basically, my dorm room became my kitchen. For breakfast, I would buy fat-free yogurt, fruit, and high-fiber cereal and keep that in my room. For lunch, maybe I'd make a sandwich in my room. I ate most dinners in restaurants and learned a good lesson in how to be assertive with waiters: I'd often ask them to prepare something special for me. The way I see it, I'm paying for the food, and it is important that it be prepared in a healthy way.
Going out and drinking with my friends became another obstacle. Let's face it: I didn't want to hurt my social life, but I did want to lose weight. So at first I'd save up a few POINTS(r) for a drink. But after a while it seemed silly to waste empty calories on alcohol so I'd just sip on a diet soda. No one could even tell it had no alcohol in it, and it made me fit in more just to be holding a cup. To tell you the truth, I have so much fun watching other people get drunk and doing silly things.
So far, I've lost 60 pounds. Once I started losing weight, I began to look at my whole life and food differently. Now I eat to live, not live to eat. I still sometimes overeat, but there's no way I'm going to throw away what I've worked so hard for. Now, if I mess up, I just get rid of the junk food and start fresh.
TAKE-AWAY: Be assertive when dining out Quiz your waiter about how a dish is prepared, and don't be shy about asking the chef to prepare something without sauces or extra fat. These days, many chefs are willing to do just that.
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Excerpted from Weight Watchers Start Living, Start Losing Copyright © 2007 by Weight Watchers. Excerpted by permission.
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