Chapter One
The Human-Pet Bond
Everything that lives, lives not alone nor for itself. -William Blake
The human-pet bond is one that dates back to prehistoric times. Some early cave drawings depict dogs joining in the hunt, as well as many in the camp and around the fire, sharing the lives of our earliest ancestors. That initial bond was not an accident or rare occurrence, but rather a natural, deliberate interaction. It served both the basic needs of humans and these friendly cousins of the wolves. Humans and dogs benefited from mutual protection and companionship. In addition, this fortuitous union enhanced hunting success. Much later, dogs would be trained and specially bred for herding and many other practical purposes.
THE DOMESTICATION OF SOME ANIMALS
The first dogs were valued as friendly hunting adjuncts and reliable alarms, warning of intruders. Since human survival was a hand-to-mouth daily challenge, these semi-feral dogs were mostly left to fend for themselves, but were probably thrown bones and scraps of food (even as they are today in many undeveloped countries). Those who were the best companions and hunters were selectively bred, and in time this created the first breeds of true dogs-different from their wolf ancestors. Much later, during biblical times, pets as we consider them now were still unheard of-aside from an occasionally favored livestock animal. Most likely, a family would take an adorable lamb or kid into the house and bring it up by hand, allowing the children to play with it. But in those unforgivingly hard times, this practice had to be temporary. Animals were raised for meat and milk, and even most of the favored ones eventually had to be slaughtered.
Times and people were much tougher then, and food was a family's first concern. Shelter, reproduction, and just staying alive were always primary, and anything else had much lower priority in each day's struggle for survival. This pet-keeping was still so temporary and occasional that there was not even a word to define it. The times were not yet ready for our present-day concept of a companion animal who did not first serve some other vital utility or purpose. Favored household animals had to be temporary indulgences-extravagances that generally did not fit into the normal long-term scheme of harsh, daily existence at that time.
We know almost nothing about the history of cats, until they were revered in ancient Egypt as quasi-religious figures. There they were sometimes killed and mummified as part of a rite we still do not fully understand. But cats were natural predators of mice and rats. They survived and increased, independently-especially well around farms and granaries, where they were welcomed and appreciated. They served a vital function in the growing agrarian development of mankind. The rats and mice they hunted were hated for devouring precious grain and other foods. This was particularly important during times of poor harvest, when there was a dangerously low supply for people to eat. Much later, in the Middle Ages, cats became even more valued when it was realized that rats and mice were the carriers of terrible diseases and epidemics.
A review of man's history shows that the actual concept and word "pet" first came into use in the Old Northern English and Scottish languages, at about 1000 A.D. It was used for any favored animal who was domesticated (or tamed) and treated with indulgence or fondness. Over the millennia this practice had gradually evolved and become much more common by that time. Our modern concept of a household pet was just developing. The coining of a new word was needed to help define it.
Nature has prescribed that very few animals have the personalities to be domesticated-and even fewer can be tamed. The first humans were hunter-gatherers. Eventually, when we began to emerge from the cave, we learned to take advantage of all the animals that could possibly be hunted, cultivated for food, or even scavenged.
For thousands of years, people captured and then selectively bred the many lines of livestock animals that have eventually become so familiar today. But as civilizations grew, dogs and cats-through their normal affectionate behavior-were firmly insinuating themselves into the homes and hearts of humans. Actually, the attraction was mutual and unavoidable. Since the social natures of cats and dogs are so different from most other animals, it was only natural that they adopted themselves into our lives. There is something deep within our human nature that loves this special relationship.
There are distinctively different kinds of temperaments in people. This is probably genetic in origin, and we can see a wide spectrum of types. There are evil people and social misfits of all sorts. Then there are the many who conform to the roles of society, but who have little love in them for others. They are not usually pet lovers. But the vast majority of people are basically good and loving. We have a normal need to give and receive love and to nurture. It seems that pets are our perfect adjuncts in life. History clearly shows us that as civilizations evolve, so does the role of household pet.
The transition to a pet-oriented society started when the focus was shifted from the favored domesticated farm animal to the tame but free-ranging dog or cat who lived with us, performing some service for the household. Cats are excellent mousers, and dogs are natural watchdogs and protectors-and loyal friends. This helped set the stage for our modern concept of family companion animals. We were only just beginning to discover the wonders of the human-pet bond.
When pockets of early civilizations first developed, wealthy men and leaders were the only people who could afford any luxuries. They enjoyed slaves, fine foods, clothes, jewels, and all the indulgences that most other people could only dream of. Dogs were selectively bred to serve specialized hunting functions or to display certain aesthetic appearances. Possessing these dogs became a matter of pride and vanity for their wealthy owners. At first, all cats were semi-feral-living in and around human dwelling places. But because of the inherent affectionate nature of humans, it was impossible for man and dog or cat to live under the same roof and not form a loving bond. It is as if our species were made for each other.
As civilizations advanced, the keeping of "pet" animals gradually became an established practice. The only exceptions to this today are found in extremely fundamental religious societies. It is interesting to note that even now these groups still do not have a vocabulary word for pet. Strict fundamentalists will not assimilate this relatively new practice into their lives because there were no biblical or other scriptural references to the modern-day concept of pets.
Gradually, pets became more commonly appreciated. Dogs were more utilized and kept for their companionship and loving, loyal natures. The history of our literature includes many references to beloved companion dogs. Even in Homer's Odyssey, the ancient Greek hero Odysseus returns home after twenty years and is joyfully welcomed by his faithful old dog, Argus. There were no literary references to cats until considerably later. We still don't know much about the special quasi-religious attitude and relationship the ancient Egyptians had for their felines. Only a few isolated mummified cats remain, and there is almost no hieroglyphic account for them.
By the middle of the eighteenth century, man's relationship with animals had already broadened quite a bit. The more developed civilizations and cultures were starting to keep pet dogs and cats for amusement, entertainment, and companionship-and not just for survival or religious purposes, as before. It is almost shocking to realize that this was only about 250 years ago. Increasing numbers of people were discovering the very rich source of love that these companion animals provide. Ever since the first few individuals were able to afford the luxury of pleasure and bonding with a household animal, we have never been the same. Gradually over the centuries, the numbers of household pets began to increase. Sailors even started bringing home tamed monkeys and talking parrots from exotic places. But the rest of us were beginning to realize that there were special benefits to our unique loving companionship with dogs and cats.
PETS FILL OUR NEED TO LOVE AND NURTURE
Most of us have a deep, natural need to love and be loved. This relationship is pure and unpolluted by any outside influences or conditions. But there are so many pitfalls and dangers in the process that we have learned to be cautious-indeed, too cautious.
Anyone who has ever loved a pet-regardless of the species-has known the very special magic that they give us. Some animals have an amazing capacity for loving us. This capacity to love is so profound that most of us are convinced that if there is such a thing as a soul, then they must possess this, as well. Many find great comfort that there must be pets in heaven.
Our natural role as steward is part of our basic human need to give love and to nurture-and to receive it. This is well illustrated by the innate tendency that children have to lovingly care for and integrate with their dolls and toy animals. Even some adults still enjoy the pleasure of owning such playthings. The inherent love of soft, cuddly, and furry things can be seen in the instinctive response of the human baby to them. This is in our nature. Dolls and toy animals have always been made into fantasy pals, and treated with great personal affection and attachment. As we grow up, this loving human instinct is usually transferred to more traditional objects of endearment. But we never really outgrow our natural tendency for stroking the fur of animals. It offers a sense of personal reassurance and comfort to many people.
The need to nurture is part of our innate makeup. It has helped to ensure the preservation of our species. In evolutionary terms, this is an essential instinct that grew as a result of our drive for survival. It is a basic part of our very nature, and it naturally carries over to our beloved companion animals. Pets are the perfect solution for our need to nurture and love when we are not too involved in the rearing of our own babies. And later, the pet animal becomes a unique companion for the young child, as well as the harried parent. It would seem as if nature had put certain animals on this earth to share their lives with us. Pets have become a basic part of our social evolution. A natural and symbiotic relationship has developed, greatly benefiting our mutual emotional and survival needs. Without pets our lives would be far less enjoyable and productive-and a lot lonelier.
The pleasures and benefits derived from keeping a companion animal are complex and many. They give us innocent dependence, companionship, and pure love-and are totally accepting and never judgmental. The unique emotional bonding between the pet and the owner strengthens for each. The result is a wonderful coupling that gives us added stability, purpose, and a sense of personal enrichment that defies description. People who do not have companion animals have no idea what they are missing.
Each of us is capable of wonders. When we reach deep down into our very being, we can come up with some amazing things. And our beloved pets help us to achieve this.
The bond we develop with pets is as wonderful and rewarding as it is fascinating and practical. It is an active reaching out and sharing of life with another living being, who happens not to be human. This relationship offers us a chance to share and express our pure selves, without needing to defend our actions or feelings. Companion animals, as we have come to call them, give us our greatest opportunities to express love, without ever having to worry about being judged or rejected. They give us back a devotion that is unmatched by any other relationship, in a very private bond. Pets provide us with an oasis of unqualified love and acceptance in an otherwise demanding and critical world. Their obedience and respect give us an increased sense of self-worth that adds new meaning to our lives. In return, we assimilate them into positions of great personal value. Our bonds with them can be very profound and deep.
People can open up completely to pets, and receive an inner sense of joy and strength from them. It has often been noted that pets can be truer friends than others of our own species. They are never critical, and therefore allow us to blossom emotionally in ways that would not be possible with fellow humans, who tend to be competitive and judgmental. We make our companion animals our secret sharers, often with greater intimacy and trust than that which is often given to the people who are closest to us. Our bonds with beloved pets are in many ways stronger, purer, and far more intimate than with others of our own species. We feel loved and completely secure in sharing our secret souls with them. How often can this be safely done-even with a spouse? So when a dear pet's life ends, it really is very understandable and normal for us to grieve and suffer a unique bereavement. And then we have to learn how to cope with the physical breaking of that kinship. But the deeply personal, spiritual aspects of that bond remain unbroken, and stay with us.
Some pets are so innocent and transparent in their needs and feelings that we get to know and trust them better than most humans. And they feel the same about us. We touch and caress them freely and speak to them adoringly. And they respond with love and so many different kinds of reassurances that we crave and need.
Touching and Petting
The physical act of fondling and cuddling is fundamental to our psychosocial stability and health. Unfortunately, our Western society still has leftover Victorian mores about people openly touching and caressing each other. This powerful primal need is satisfied in part by the loving, sensual contact we have with our pets. Petting and stroking is powerful medicine for us, contributing to our emotional (as well as physical) security and health. That is especially marvelous because it energizes a mutually beneficial response. The pet loves and benefits from it-and we ourselves are gratified and soothed, as well.
The pleasure of petting a companion animal has been proven to be of significant medical and psychological benefit to us: Blood pressure is reduced, heartbeat is improved, resistance to disease is heightened, and tension is eased-among other tangible benefits. As mentioned, this relationship has a dimension that transcends even the ties between people, as wonderful as they can be.
In this modern day of violence, superficiality, estrangement, and loneliness, the bond with a beloved pet can be a stabilizing and even sustaining force in our lives. But unfortunately, there are still many who would disparage this. That is something we have to learn to deal with and not allow to upset us. The bond is an important part of us, and it helps define who we actually are.
Sometimes these expressions and reflections of our very private selves are allowed to run out of proportion to what is safe or wise. There are many pet lovers who forsake some or much of their interhuman relationships in favor of the powerful sense of love and security their pets give them. There is potential danger, here. We can tend to insulate ourselves with our pets from the rest of the world's pains and insensitivity. It is too easy to build a safe emotional cocoon around us and the beloved pet, isolating us from the pain and unpleasantness that surrounds us. Most of us do this, though-in varying degrees.
But as comfortable and secure as it feels at the time, it can prove unhealthy in the long run. There are many people who live lives of quiet desperation and who become overly dependent on a pet for supportiveness in stressful social situations. Frequently, when there is a strong conflict between two family members, one of them will turn to the pet for comfort and love and for the sense of emotional security that is needed. This dependent relationship becomes very personal and secret. With time, it grows in magnitude and can even distort things, if it is not resolved.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from The Loss of a Petby Wallace Sife Excerpted by permission.
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