Chapter One
THE RIGHT TO
HAPPINESS
* * *
I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness.That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whetherone believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seekingsomething better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our lifeis towards happiness ..."
With these words, spoken before a large audience in Arizona,the Dalai Lama cut to the heart of his message. But his claim thatthe purpose of life was happiness raised a question in my mind.Later, when we were alone, I asked, "Are you happy?"
"Yes," he said. He paused, then added, "Yes ... definitely."There was a quiet sincerity in his voice that left no doubt—asincerity that was reflected in his expression and in hiseyes.
"But is happiness a reasonable goal for most of us?" I asked. "Isit really possible?"
"Yes. I believe that happiness can be achieved through trainingthe mind."
On a basic human level, I couldn't help but respond to theidea of happiness as an achievable goal. As a psychiatrist, however,I had been burdened by notions such as Freud's belief that"one feels inclined to say that the intention that man should be`happy' is not included in the plan of `Creation.'" This type oftraining had led many in my profession to the grim conclusionthat the most one could hope for was "the transformation of hystericmisery into common unhappiness." From that standpoint,the claim that there was a clearly defined path to happinessseemed like quite a radical idea. As I looked back over my yearsof psychiatric training, I could rarely recall having heard theword "happiness" even mentioned as a therapeutic objective. Ofcourse, there was plenty of talk about relieving the patient'ssymptoms of depression or anxiety, of resolving internal conflictsor relationship problems, but never with the expresslystated goal of becoming happy.
The concept of achieving true happiness has, in the West,always seemed ill defined, elusive, ungraspable. Even the word"happy" is derived from the Icelandic word happ, meaning luckor chance. Most of us, it seems, share this view of the mysteriousnature of happiness. In those moments of joy thatlife brings, happiness feels like something that comes out ofthe blue. To my Western mind, it didn't seem the sort of thingthat one could develop, and sustain, simply by "training themind."
When I raised that objection, the Dalai Lama was quick toexplain. "When I say `training the mind,' in this context I'm notreferring to `mind' merely as one's cognitive ability or intellect.Rather, I'm using the term in the sense of the Tibetan word Sem,which has a much broader meaning, closer to 'psyche' or 'spirit';it includes intellect and feeling, heart and mind. By bringingabout a certain inner discipline, we can undergo a transformationof our attitude, our entire outlook and approach to living.
"When we speak of this inner discipline, it can of courseinvolve many things, many methods. But generally speaking,one begins by identifying those factors which lead to happinessand those factors which lead to suffering. Having done this, onethen sets about gradually eliminating those factors which leadto suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness. Thatis the way."
The Dalai Lama claims to have found some measure of personalhappiness. And throughout the week he spent in Arizona, Ioften witnessed how this personal happiness can manifest as asimple willingness to reach out to others, to create a feeling ofaffinity and goodwill, even in the briefest of encounters.
One morning after his public lecture the Dalai Lama waswalking along an outside patio on the way back to his hotelroom, surrounded by his usual retinue. Noticing one of the hotelhousekeeping staff standing by the elevators, he paused to askher, "Where are you from?" For a moment she appeared takenaback by this foreign-looking man in the maroon robes andseemed puzzled by the deference of the entourage. Then shesmiled and answered shyly, "Mexico." He paused briefly to chatwith her a few moments and then walked on, leaving her with alook of excitement and pleasure on her face. The next morningat the same time, she appeared at the same spot with another ofthe housekeeping staff, and the two of them greeted him warmlyas he got into the elevator. The interaction was brief, but thetwo of them appeared flushed with happiness as they returnedto work. Every day after that, they were joined by a few moreof the housekeeping staff at the designated time and place, untilby the end of the week there were dozens of maids in their crispgray-and-white uniforms forming a receiving line that stretchedalong the length of the path that led to the elevators.
Our days are numbered. At this very moment, many thousandsare born into the world, some destined to live only a few daysor weeks, and then tragically succumb to illness or other misfortune.Others are destined to push through to the centurymark, perhaps even a bit beyond, and savor every taste life hasto offer: triumph, despair, joy, hatred, and love. We never know.But whether we live a day or a century, a central question alwaysremains: What is the purpose of our life? What makes our livesmeaningful?
The purpose of our existence is to seek happiness. It seems likecommon sense, and Western thinkers from Aristotle to WilliamJames have agreed with this idea. But isn't a life based on seekingpersonal happiness by nature self-centered, even self-indulgent? Notnecessarily. In fact, survey after survey has shown thatit is unhappy people who tend to be most self-focused and areoften socially withdrawn, brooding, and even antagonistic.Happy people, in contrast, are generally found to be more sociable,flexible, and creative and are able to tolerate life's daily frustrationsmore easily than unhappy people. And, most important,they are found to be more loving and forgiving than unhappypeople.
Researchers have devised some interesting experimentsdemonstrating that happy people exhibit a certain quality ofopenness, a willingness to reach out and help others. They managed,for instance, to induce a happy mood in a test subject byarranging to have the person unexpectedly find money in aphone booth. Posing as a stranger, one of the experimentersthen walked by and "accidentally" dropped a load of papers. Theinvestigators wanted to see whether the subject would stop tohelp the stranger. In another scenario, the subjects' spirits werelifted by listening to a comedy album, and then they were approachedby someone in need (also in cahoots with the experimenter)wanting to borrow money. The investigators discoveredthat the subjects who were feeling happy were more likelyto help someone or to lend money than another "control group"of individuals who were presented with the same opportunity tohelp but whose mood had not been boosted ahead of time.
While these kinds of experiments contradict the notion thatthe pursuit and achievement of personal happiness somehowlead to selfishness and self-absorption, we can all conduct ourown experiment in the laboratory of our own daily lives. Suppose,for instance, we're stuck in traffic. After twenty minutes itfinally begins moving again, at around parade speed. We seesomeone in another car signaling that she wants to pull into ourlane ahead of us. If we're in a good mood, we are more likely toslow down and wave them on ahead. If we're feeling miserable,our response may be simply to speed up and close the gap."Well, I've been stuck here waiting all this time; why shouldn'tthey?"
We begin, then, with the basic premise that the purpose ofour life is to seek happiness. It is a vision of happiness as a realobjective, one that we can take positive steps toward achieving.And as we begin to identify the factors that lead to a happierlife, we will learn how the search for happiness offers benefitsnot only for the individual but for the individual's family and forsociety at large as well.
Continues...
Excerpted from The Art of Happinessby Dalai Lama Copyright © 2000 by Dalai Lama. Excerpted by permission.
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