The New Science of Gratitude
I cannot tell you anything that, in a few minutes, will tell you how to be rich.
But I can tell you how to feel rich, which is far better, let me tell you firsthand,
than being rich. Be grateful . . . It's the only totally reliable get-rich-quick
scheme.
—Ben Stein, actor, comedian, economist
In 1999, the renowned writer Stephen King was the victimof a serious
automobile accident.While King was walking on a country road not far from
his summer home in rural Maine, the driver of a van, distracted by his
rottweiler, veered off the road and struck King, throwing him over the van's
windshield and into a ditch. He just missed falling against a rocky ledge.
King was hospitalized with multiple fractures to his right leg and hip, a
collapsed lung, broken ribs, and a scalp laceration. When later asked what
he was thinking when told he could have died, his one-word
answer: "Gratitude." An avowedly nonreligious individual in his personal life,
he nonetheless on this occasion perceived the goodness of divine influence in
the outcome. In discussing the issue of culpability for the accident, King
said, "It's God's grace that he [the driver of the van] isn't responsible for my
death."
This brief glimpse into the private life of the most successful horror
novelist of all time reveals that gratitude can occur in the most unlikely of
circumstances. Specializing as he does in writing about the darker, more
fearful side of life, the "King" of terror is an unlikely poster person for
gratitude. Normally we associate gratitude with the more elevated, exalted
realms of life. For centuries, theologians, moral philosophers, and writers
have identified gratitude as an indispensable manifestation of virtue and
excellence of character. One contemporary philosopher recently remarked
that "gratitude is the most pleasant of virtues and the most virtuous of
pleasures."
Despite such acclaim, gratitude has never, until recently, been
examined or studied by scientific psychologists. It is possible that
psychology has ignored gratitude because it appears, on the surface, to be a
very obvious emotion, lacking in interesting complications: we receive a gift—
from friends, from family, from God—and then we feel pleasurably grateful.
But while the emotion seemed simplistic even to me as I began my research,
I soon discovered that gratitude is a deeper, more complex phenomenon that
plays a critical role in human happiness. Gratitude is literally one of the few
things that can measurably change peoples' lives.
It is perhaps inevitable that work rectifying such a glaring scientific
omission would, like so many other breakthroughs, begin serendipitously. As
a professor at the University of California, Davis, in the 1980s, I had become
interested in what is now known as positive psychology, the study of human
emotions that are healthy and pleasurable aspects of life (as opposed to the
field's prior concentration on clinical and emotional problems). From the late
1980s to the late 1990s, the focus of my research was on happiness and
goal strivings. Then, in 1998, I was invited to attend a small conference on
what were deemed the "classical sources of human strength": wisdom, hope,
love, spirituality, gratitude, humility. Each scientist was given the charge of
presenting the known body of knowledge on his or her topic and developing a
research agenda for the future.My first choice, humility, was taken; instead, I
was assigned gratitude. I canvassed the theological, philosophical, and
social science literatures, culling insights from these disciplines in an
attempt to understand the essence of this universal strength. I soon came to
believe that the capacity for gratitude is deeply woven into the fabric of the
human species and possibly other species as well.
After the conference, I began a program of scientific research in
collaboration with Michael McCullough, psychologist at the University of
Miami, in which we made several important discoveries about gratitude. We
discovered scientific proof that when people regularly engage in the
systematic cultivation of gratitude, they experience a variety of measurable
benefits: psychological, physical, and interpersonal. The evidence on
gratitude contradicts the widely held view that all people have a "set-point" of
happiness that cannot be reset by any known means: in some cases, people
have reported that gratitude led to transformative life changes. And, even
more important, the family, friends, partners, and others that surround them
consistently report that people who practice gratitude seem measurably
happier and are more pleasant to be around.
This book showcases the new science of gratitude. Woven into
the narrative is a discussion of how the great religious leaders, philosophers,
theologians, and writers have written about gratitude in different cultures and
historical periods. To encourage the reader to begin the journey of gratitude
practice, I include a discussion of practical techniques that will increase
readers' gratitude and happiness. I intend this book to provoke intellectual
interest as well as selfexamination; I hope to provide you with information that
might inspire you to make life-altering decisions.
What Gratitude Is
What exactly do we mean by gratitude? Most of us have an everyday sense
of the concept. When I am grateful, I acknowledge that I have received a gift, I
recognize the value of that gift, and I appreciate the intentions of the donor.
The benefit, gift, or personal gain might be material or nonmaterial (emotional
or spiritual).
From a scientific perspective, though, gratitude defies easy
classification. Some years ago, the Web site for a popular radio talk show
sold T-shirts emblazoned with the motto "Gratitude is an Attitude." It certainly
is an attitude, but it ismuch more.Gratitude has also been depicted as an
emotion, a mood, a moral virtue, a habit, a motive, a personality trait, a
coping response, and even a way of life. The Oxford English Dictionary
defines gratitude as "the quality or condition of being thankful; the
appreciation of an inclination to return kindness." The word gratitude is
derived from the Latin gratia, meaning "favor," and gratus, meaning "pleasing."
All derivatives from this Latin root have to do with kindness, generousness,
gifts, the beauty of giving and receiving, or getting something for nothing.
Gratitude is pleasing. It feels good. Gratitude is also motivating. When we
feel grateful, we are moved to share the goodness we have received with
others.
Gratitude Is Recognizing and Acknowledging
In my own thinking about gratitude, I've found it very helpful to conceive of it in
terms of two stages. First, gratitude is the acknowledgment of goodness in
one's life. In gratitude we say yes to life. We af- firm that all things taken
together, life is good and has elements that make it worth living. The
acknowledgment that we have received something gratifies us, either by its
presence or by the effort the giver went into choosing it. Second, gratitude is
recognizing that the source(s) of this goodness lie at least partially outside
the self. The object of gratitude is other-directed; one can be grateful to other
people, to God, to animals, but never to oneself. This is one significant way
in which gratitude differs from other emotional dispositions. A person can be
angry at himself, pleased with herself, proud of himself, or feel guilty about
doing wrong, but it would be bizarre to say that a person felt grateful to
herself. Even if you bought yourself a lavish dinner, as I am inclined to do
when I order room service, it would be peculiar if I were to give thanks
tomyself. Thanks are directed outward to the giver of gifts.
From this angle, gratitude is more than a feeling. It requires a
willingness to recognize (a) that one has been the beneficiary of someone's
kindness, (b) that the benefactor has intentionally provided a benefit, often
incurring some personal cost, and (c) that the benefit has value in the eyes of
the beneficiary. Gratitude implies humility— a recognition that we could not
be who we are or where we are in life without the contributions of others.
Gratitude also implies a recognition that it is possible for other forces to act
toward us with beneficial, selfless motives. In a world that was nothing but
injustice and cruelty, there would indeed be no possibility of gratitude. Being
grateful is an acknowledgment that there are good and enjoyable things in
the world.
These two terms, recognition and acknowledgment, need some
unpacking. First, they suggest that gratitude (or thankfulness) is an effortful
state to create and maintain. It is not for the intellectually lethargic. Thanking
belongs to the realm of thinking: the two words stem from common
etymological roots. Prominent existential philosopher Martin Heidegger was
fond of saying "Denken ist Danken" ("thinking is thanking"). The French
language is especially rich in expressions having to do with thanking. The
term reconnaissance is from the French reconoissance, meaning an
inspection or exploration for the purpose of gathering information. It typically
has a military connotation, but in the context of gratitude it refers to
inspecting or exploring one's life for the purpose of seeing to whom thanks
should be given. The French expression "je suis reconnaissant" is translated
as a three-part construal: (1) "I recognize" (intellectually), (2) "I acknowledge"
(willingly), and (3) "I appreciate" (emotionally). Only when all three come
together is gratitude complete.
This brief etymological detour suggests already that gratitude is
much more than mere politeness or a superficial feeling. Recognition is the
quality that permits gratitude to be transformational. To recognize is to
cognize, or think, differently about something from the way we have thought
about it before. Think about an experience in your life when what was initially
a curse wound up being a blessing in disguise. Maybe you were terminated
from a job, a marital relationship dissolved, or a serious illness befell you.
Gradually, you emerged from the resulting darkness with a new perception.
Adversity was transformed into opportunity. Sorrow was transformed into
gratefulness.You re-cognized the event. The re-cognizing might also involve
matters much more mundane than downsizing, divorce, or disability. Driving
to work on an ordinary day, we may for the first time notice a sunrise, a
meadow bursting with spring blooms, or a formation of geese overhead, and
find ourselves suddenly overcome with grateful awe.
Gratefulness is a knowing awareness that we are the recipients of
goodness. In gratitude we remember the contributions that others have made
for the sake of our well-being. On the recipient side, we acknowledge having
received a benefit, and we realize that the giver acted intentionally in order to
benefit us. On the giver side, we acknowledge that the receiver was in need
of or worthy of the benefit, and we recognize that we are able to provide this
benefit.We cannot be grateful without being thoughtful. We cannot shift our
mental gears into neutral and maintain a grateful lifestyle. This is why
gratitude requires contemplation and reflection.
Copyright © 2007 by Robert A. Emmons. Reprinted by permission of
Houghton Mifflin Company.
Continues...
Excerpted from Thanks!by Robert Emmons Copyright © 2007 by Robert Emmons. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
