Chapter One
You Might Be a Redneck If ... You've ever given your date flowers you stole from a cemetery.
You've ever French-kissed within five feet of a Dumpster.
You had your anniversary dinner at the food court in the mall.
In preparation for a romantic evening, you stop by the grocery store for a bottle of Mr. Bubble.
You've ever hot-wired a motel vibrating bed.
Sex education at your school included advice on avoiding the steering wheel.
You have to roll up your sleeve and look at your arm to spell your wife's name.
You've ever spray-painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
Your honeymoon hotel advertised "Truckers Welcome."
You're making "rabbit ears" behind the bride in your wedding photos.
You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
Your wife puts candles on a pan of corn bread for your birthday.
A dating service matches you up w
Chapter One
You Might Be a Redneck If ... You've ever given your date flowers you stole from a cemetery.
You've ever French-kissed within five feet of a Dumpster.
You had your anniversary dinner at the food court in the mall.
In preparation for a romantic evening, you stop by the grocery store for a bottle of Mr. Bubble.
You've ever hot-wired a motel vibrating bed.
Sex education at your school included advice on avoiding the steering wheel.
You have to roll up your sleeve and look at your arm to spell your wife's name.
You've ever spray-painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
Your honeymoon hotel advertised "Truckers Welcome."
You're making "rabbit ears" behind the bride in your wedding photos.
You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
Your wife puts candles on a pan of corn bread for your birthday.
A dating service matches you up with a relative.
You said your wedding vows while watching a football game out of the corner of your eye.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Red Is the Color of My True Love's Neckby Jeff Foxworthy Copyright © 2007 by Jeff Foxworthy. Excerpted by permission.
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