A Code of Jewish Ethics (Hardcover)

Chapter One

12 Study Guides for a Year’s Worth of Inspiring Discussion about A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS: VOLUME I, YOU SHALL BE HOLY

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin

Getting Started

Reading Rabbi Telushkin’s A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS will challenge you to consider how and why you live an ethical life; discussing what you’ve read with others will allow you to share these profound considerations.

Conversations about ethics will necessarily get personal as each participant shares examples from his or her life. An open, respectful environment will ensure that you have a lively discussion. Referring back to A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS as much as possible—bringing your discussion from the personal back to the rabbinic commentaries and contemporary stories in the book—will enrich your discussion experience.

We’ve provided a series of discussion questions on several key passages in A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS to help you focus yo

Chapter One

12 Study Guides for a Year’s Worth of Inspiring Discussion about A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS: VOLUME I, YOU SHALL BE HOLY

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin

Getting Started

Reading Rabbi Telushkin’s A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS will challenge you to consider how and why you live an ethical life; discussing what you’ve read with others will allow you to share these profound considerations.

Conversations about ethics will necessarily get personal as each participant shares examples from his or her life. An open, respectful environment will ensure that you have a lively discussion. Referring back to A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS as much as possible—bringing your discussion from the personal back to the rabbinic commentaries and contemporary stories in the book—will enrich your discussion experience.

We’ve provided a series of discussion questions on several key passages in A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS to help you focus your discussion. You may decide to move through these questions one by one, or you may decide to skip around a bit and tackle questions as they arise. The questions are here to provide a road map, to help you regain direction if your discussion veers off track, and to help you get where you’re going: to a clearer, deeper, and more satisfying understanding of Rabbi Telushkin’s remarkable book.

In addition to using the following questions to direct your conversation, we recommend that you begin your meeting by introducing yourself to the other members of your group. Why are you interested in Jewish ethical teachings? What do you hope to get out of your discussion? To be sure that each person gets what he or she wants, we suggest this simple exercise:

• Get yourself something big to write on so everyone can see—a poster-sized paper taped up on the wall, for instance, or a poster board propped up against a chair or table.

• Choose someone, maybe your hostess or discussion leader, to write down a word or phrase for each person’s vital discussion issue, something basic to remind you of the big idea.

• Then go around the room and ask each person to contribute one specific aspect of the reading that he or she would like to discuss—a particular passage, a question left unanswered, a positive, negative, or neutral observation.

• Each time you notice you’ve discussed a new point from the list on your board, give the person who chose this topic a chance to expand on her question or observation.

• Ask one member to keep an eye on the clock and call time once you have only fifteen or twenty minutes remaining before the end of the meeting. The discussion-board secretary can then check off each of the topics that you’ve already hit upon and see if there are any big or burning issues still left unaddressed.

Best wishes for a stupendous discussion experience! Enjoy all the discoveries you will make about yourself, your faith, and your world as you read, study, and talk about A CODE OF JEWISH ETHICS.


1: GOD AS THE BASIS OF MORALITY

• “I believe in morals but all morals are relative.”

“I have my own private moral code.”

“Morals are entirely a matter of opinion.”

Do any of these statements describe the way we understand morality in our own lives? Go to the footnote on page 481 to read more. Discuss 1940s educator Oliver Martin’s provocative statement that “Hitler or Mussolini could accept every one of these statements.”

• Do we agree with Rabbi Telushkin that “in the absence of God, all that people can express about morality are opinions” (page 481 #2)?

• “Without God, by what authority can one argue that certain activities should be permitted and others forbidden?” See page 480 #1 and #2. If some of the greatest minds of the last few centuries couldn’t come up with an answer to this question, we probably can’t either, but perhaps most of us have never given much thought to why we observe a moral code. Why do we abstain from theft, murder, and other crimes? Why do we go out of your way to help others? Is it because we want people to treat us the way we treat them, or do we believe that there is a higher authority than the law of the land?

• “Unfortunately, the belief that reason will lead people to morality is itself unreasonable.” See page 482 #4. Read this passage in its entirety, including the footnote about Freud’s 1927 pronouncement. Most people believe that ethics is based on reason, but this passage shows clearly that this is faulty thinking. How can standards be set if we all see things differently?

• Where does the acknowledgment that God is the basis of morality leave atheists and agnostics? And what about people who are religious but believe God is more concerned with faith than with acts of kindness? Read #8 on page 486 and consider the best way to teach children that virtuous behavior is what matters most to God.


2: THE HEART OF JUDAISM

• In what is perhaps the Talmud’s most famous passage, a non-Jew asks Hillel to “convert me to Judaism on condition that you teach me the entire Torah while I stand on one foot.” Hillel replies, “What is hateful unto you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah! All the rest is commentary. Now, go and study.”

The four components of Hillel’s response provide a key to the essence of Judaism. Read pages 10 and 11 and discuss the vital points that Rabbi Telushkin raises.

• When we give advice, are we sure that none of it is self-serving? Can we discern the ethical teachings embedded in many of the ritual laws? Is it possible to act honorably all the time without studying the Torah? As Lyndon Johnson once said, “A president’s hardest task is not to do what is right, but to know what is right.”

• Start on page 12, examine #3 - #7 and discuss why the Ten Words or Commandments focus on belief in God and ethical behavior and say nothing about ritual or circumcision.

• It is said that human beings are unique because they are created “in the image of God.” What does this mean?

• On page 14 #8 Rabbi Telushkin quotes the prophet Micah (6:8): “And what does the Lord require of you? To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.” How do we practice this in our own lives?

• On pages 18 and 19 #15, Rabbi Telushkin cites Psalm 15:1: “Who will abide in Your tent? Who will dwell in Your holy mountain?” and lists the qualities of those worthy of dwelling with God. How can we use this template to refine the way we live?

• On page 37 #1, Rabbi Telushkin tells us that Judaism regards improving our character as the goal of life. “The Midrash teaches, ‘The Torah’s commandments were not given to mankind for any purpose other than to refine people’ (Genesis Rabbah 44:1). The Rabbis did not say that it is one of the purposes of the Torah and its commandments to improve our character, but that this is their sole purpose.” Are we truly becoming more honest, kind, and compassionate as we grow older? Reflect on this and share your observations with each other.


3: JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE

• Most of us rush to judgment but Leviticus 19:15 says, “In justice shall you judge your fellow man.” Read what Rabbi Telushkin has to say about “the ignored commandment” on page 70 #1 and #2. Are we aware of how uninformed and unreasonable our opinion of other people’s behavior often is? Why do we think this happens?

• As Rabbi Telushkin says on page 70 #3, “One reason many of us have a higher regard for our own character than that of others is that we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their acts, especially those acts we find annoying.” Do we recognize this and can we recall occasions when it has happened?

• On page 71, Rabbi Telushkin writes that “commenting on the difficult commandment to ‘love your neighbor as yourself,’ the Ba’al Shem Tov taught that just as we love ourselves despite our faults, so too should we love others despite their faults.” He points out that we tend to justify our own actions but “loving our neighbor as ourselves means seeking out rationalizations and excuses for others’ behavior in the same way we do for our own.” Are we willing to admit that we have one standard for ourselves and another for other people? Perhaps we should be tougher on ourselves and less tough on others? See also page 79 #13 where Albert Schweitzer is quoted as saying, “You don’t have to be an angel in order to be a saint.” On page 75 #7, Rabbi Telushkin suggests that for at least one day each month we try to see only good in all those we meet.

• On page 77 #11, Rabbi Telushkin suggests that when assessing someone, we should do so not “on the basis of one or two negative things” but on his behavior as a whole. Also, “if you hear about someone’s misdeeds, take into account that her good deeds may be more significant. As Maimonides writes ‘There are some merits which outweigh many sins.’” Has it ever occurred to us to look at things from this point of view?

• On page 91 #13, Rabbi Telushkin writes, “When we don’t know someone, or when something in the person’s behavior has struck us as inappropriate, we should regard the person with caution, but should still treat him graciously.” Read the story about Joshua in this paragraph and also the following page and discuss how we should treat people who behave badly.


4: GIVING THANKS

• The Hebrew for gratitude is hakarat ha-tov, “recognition of the good [another has done for you.].” How often do we acknowledge all the blessings bestowed on us and take the trouble to thank people? Do we do this as frequently as we recite our litany of complaints?

• Read what Rabbi Telushkin has to say about both grateful and ungrateful people on pages 96-97 #1 and #2. Doesn’t ungratefulness summon its own reward (or perhaps punishment)? Is gratitude indeed a prerequisite for happiness?

• If someone has helped us at some point in our lives, it is important not to let this fade from memory. Discuss the points Rabbi Telushkin raises on pages 97-100. Don’t wait until you are dying to say thank you to those who have gone out of their way to be kind to you.

• On page 101 #6, Rabbi Telushkin stresses the importance of thanking our loved ones for all that they have done and continue to do for us. Sometimes we express gratitude to strangers but not those nearest and dearest to us. Explore the ways that we take what family and friends do for us for granted and what we can do to remedy this.

• On pages 101-102 #7 and #8, there are examples of famous people who have reciprocated the kindness shown to their family and friends, even though they themselves were not the beneficiaries. Is this something that has happened in our own lives?

• “Repay one person’s kindness by being kind to someone else.” See page 104 #13. Consider that it is not always possible to thank someone for a good dead but random acts of kindness can spread goodwill throughout the world.


5: WHO NEEDS TO REPENT AND WHEN?

• On page 150 #1, Rabbi Telushkin writes, “An old adage teaches, ‘Great men have great flaws.’ But ordinary people do also; the flaws are just more visible in great people. We all commit acts for which we need to repent.” He suggests that we reflect on some improper behavior in which we are currently engaged and offers a checklist in case we draw a blank. How often do we stop to think about this?

• As noted on page 152 #4, in Ezekiel 33:11 we read, “As I live, says God, it is not my desire that the wicked shall die, but that the wicked shall turn from his evil ways and live.” As described on pages 152 and 153, there is always hope of teshuvah, no matter how deeply we have transgressed. Examine this great blessing that is always available to us.

• On age. 155 we find the words of Rabbi Eliezer: “Repent one day before your death.” How would our lives change if we followed his advice?

• On pages 156-171 #1- #28 Rabbi Telushkin explains the three steps of repentance: acknowledge the wrong you have committed; do what you can to undo the damage you have inflicted, and ask for forgiveness; resolve not to sin in this way again, and carry out your commitment. What is our experience of following his advice?

• On page 171 #29, Rabbi Telushkin writes of the importance of repentance when death is approaching. Have we been present at a friend or relative’s bedside and encouraged them to unburden themselves before they leave this life?


6: WHEN FORGIVENESS IS REQUIRED, WHEN OPTIONAL, AND WHEN FORBIDDEN

• On page 196 #3, Rabbi Telushkin cites the Talmud as saying: “One who overcomes his natural tendencies and instead forgives, all his sins are forgiven.” This is an extraordinary statement. Do we think that this promise will enable us to find it in our hearts to forgive others?

• In most cases, you may not withhold forgiveness if the person who has hurt you asks sincerely. On page 197 #4, Rabbi Telushkin raises the issue of how to proceed if you are so upset you can’t bring yourself to do so straight away. Have you ever tried to relinquish your anger so that you can forgive someone “with a complete heart and a willing spirit” (Maimonides)?

• If the perpetrator does not ask for forgiveness, then giving it is optional, even though it is probably a better idea to do so. But on page 199 #6, Rabbi Telushkin writes that he cannot think of a reason why a rape victim should forgive a rapist or a man wrongly accused of rape should forgive his accuser. Do you agree?

• Slander and libel do not have to be forgiven, even if the perpetrator asks because the damage to one’s good name can never be fully remedied, particularly on the Internet. However, it might be better for us to forgive even these wrongs rather than face the possibility that on Yom Kippur God may withhold mercy from us in like manner. See the story at the bottom of page 199.

• Christianity encourages forgiveness for all sins but Judaism states that we may not forgive a crime committed against someone else. It is not possible to forgive a murderer because the victim is already dead. Read all that Rabbi Telushkin has to say about this on pages 201-206 and discuss.<

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Excerpted from A Code of Jewish Ethics: Volume 1by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin Excerpted by permission.
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